Today I am all packed and ready to get on the pane back to Chicago tomorrow to begin Phase 2 on Wednesday. It also happens to be Easter Sunday and my first order of business this morning was Church to count my blessings and remember who actually is in charge of my life. Not the doctors, not this nasty disease, not my spouse or child or friend but just simply God! As I sat there in my seat at 7:50 AM so much was running through my head. For the last week I have been trying to figure out how to put into words what my my world looks like for the blog I wanted to get out today. Guess what? This morning, in that hard, burgundy plastic chair, in a huge Catholic Church that was already too hot for the day, watching a sweet 3 years old girl dressed up for Easter play in between her parents legs, arms and using them both for a jungle gym it became crystal clear. Dancing in the Safety of Faith and Prayer.
You see last week I came to as close as I have come, so far on this journey, to loosing faith in the process of becoming Betsy 2.0. It was a seriously HARD week. Lots of finishing touches at home, work and life before I check out for the most part to go get about the business of healing. When I look back now I see where I was trying to step up and into the drivers seat. Drive the car, run the show and the biggest motive that always gets me twisted around, to stay “in control”. Makes me laugh out loud right now when I know just how little control I do have.Reminds me of a saying, Baby you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.
I need to trust my God has me. The exact way that little girl in church this morning knew her dad would not let her fall. That’s my loving higher powers plan I just know it and I need to trust that all the way to my toes. HOWEVER and this is a huge “yeah but”, I do not have a telephone number to call God and say hey, whats up, you got this right? Although, on second thought, I actually do have that number. It is the same number of all of you. The ones who are “sending prayers and love”. You folks who have put me on prayer lists, are lighting candles for my procedure, and helping financially get me through this.
I was on the phone Friday with a great friend I have known since 1981. She told me a story I want to tell you so you can see the power, strength, and mightiness of my God who’s got this for me in so many ways.
She was telling me when I called her earlier, and she didn’t answer it was because she was on with her CPA. Telling her CPA that she felt she should take my call (event thought she didn’t) because she always answers when I call because I am going through this stem cell transplant and she is living it with me. (You see my friend is and has been a nurse forever. I have given her access to read all my test results and help me understand the details. She is THAT friend I call and ask all sorts of inappropriate things to cause, well, she knows me completely and loves me anyways.) Back to the story, her CPA asks my friend for my name and she tells her, “Betsy Craig”.
Turns out this particular woman has heard my name before and some of the story of my Stem Cell Transplant. All the way to Columbia, MD from Fort Collins, Colorado. Her synagogue has been keeping me in their prayers. Someone in Howard County, MD has added me to a list for folks to pray for me, my health and doing well with my stem cell transplant. I really believe we do not need Kevin Bacon to be connected. This was only 2 steps away.
My job is to keep on dancing in the safety of that faith through prayer and all will be well.
Your help, by adding me to prayer lists, sharing that fact with me along the way has been a true amazing gift. Here is a listing from Carrollton, TX.
The days ahead are dark and a little uncertain but with you lighting my way with your love, prayers and good thoughts together we can and will get through anything. Even Stem Cell Transplant to kick Scleroderma to the curb.
Happy Easter. I thank and love you!